Erik and Lyle Menendez's Family Guide: Who Supports Them and Who Doesn't?


Erik and Lyle Menendez.
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Most of Erik Menéndez and Lyle Menéndez‘s family members have remained on their side after their high-profile murder case — but not everyone.

Erik and Lyle’s parents, José Menéndez and Kitty Menéndez, were found dead at their Beverly Hills home in 1989. After Lyle called the police, authorities discovered José was shot six times and Kitty was shot 10 times. Lyle and Erik weren’t initially persons of interest in the case, but were arrested one year later after their therapist recorded sessions where the pair confessed to the murders.

During their first high-profile trial, the brothers accused their parents, José and Kitty, of alleged physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Several of Erik and Lyle’s relatives took the stand to defend the brothers, but the case ended in a mistrial after the jury was unable to reach a unanimous decision. When the retrial began, most of the evidence surrounding the abuse allegations were deemed inadmissible and couldn’t be used as a defense. Erik and Lyle — who were tried together — were found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole in 1996.

“They didn’t deserve any of this,” Kitty’s sister, Joan VanderMolen, told Vanity Fair in October 2024 after a renewed interest in Erik and Lyle’s case. “They were used and abused and there seems to be no end to it.”

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Ted Soqui/Sygma via Getty Images Erik Menéndez and Lyle Menéndez both found partners while serving out their individual life sentences following a high-profile murder case. The Menéndez brothers were arrested in 1990 on two counts of first-degree murder after their parents — José and Kitty — were found shot to death in their home. Two […]

VanderMolen had no regrets about defending Erik and Lyle, adding, “I’ll do what I can to help. I wanna get that straight because there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, nothing. It’s just unreal that they’ve been in there 35 years. It’s unconscionable. The whole family feels this way. We’re just trying to hold on and do what we can to help them. Which isn’t much at this point. They’re in the hands of the law. I hope the law gets it figured out.”

Later that month, the Los Angeles District Attorney George Gascón recommended that Erik and Lyle’s sentences be reduced to 50 years, which could allow them to be released on parole if approved by a judge.

Erik and Lyle’s post-conviction attorney Mark Geragos reflected on their potential freedom before the surprising decision from the D.A., telling Us Weekly, “I won’t speak to whether [Erik and Lyle] have a plan [in the event they are released]. I just think that in order to get through each day, you’ve got to just ground yourself. It’s a long road from life without [parole] for almost 17 years to being hopeful.”

Keep scrolling for a comprehensive guide to Erik and Lyle’s family members — including information on who does and doesn’t support their possible release from prison after over three decades behind bars:

Tammi Menendez (Erik’s Wife)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
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Before Erik was sentenced in his high-profile murder case, he connected with Tammi after she wrote him a letter in prison. Tammi was still married to then-husband Chuck Saccoman at the time but after his death, her connection with Erik took a turn.

Erik and Tammi met for the first time in 1997 — two years later, they tied the knot. While trying to sustain a relationship, Erik became a father figure to Tammi’s daughter Talia, whom she shared with Saccoman.

“Tammi is what gets me through. I can’t think about the sentence. When I do, I do it with great sadness and a primal fear. I break into a cold sweat. It’s so frightening I just haven’t come to terms with it,” Erik told People in 2005. “Tammi’s love was a major step in my choosing life. Having someone who loves you unconditionally, who you can be completely open with, is good for anybody — to know that this person loves me as I am.”

Talia Menendez (Erik’s Stepdaughter)

Tammi, who already had a daughter from a previous relationship, welcomed Talia with Saccoman during their marriage. In 1996, Tammi found out that Saccoman was allegedly raping her teenage daughter when she was 15 years old. Saccoman turned himself into the police and died by suicide two days later. Talia was 9 months old when Saccoman died and Erik subsequently became a father figure for her over the years.

Talia has preferred to remain out of the spotlight, but she became more vocal amid renewed interest in Erik’s case. In October 2024, the then 29-year-old made a rare appearance alongside her mother at the press conference that confirmed the Los Angeles District Attorney’s resentencing recommendation.

“While today marks a small step forward, the journey isn’t over yet,” Talia wrote via an Instagram Story before reflecting on her public appearance in support of Erik. “Stepping out of my comfort zone and being seen publicly was a huge challenge for me. Today was overwhelming but I pushed through for my family. I hope you can understand that I’m simply a daughter fighting for my dad’s freedom.”

Rebecca Sneed (Lyle’s Wife)

After his arrest, Lyle was married to Anna Eriksson before the pair called it quits in 2001. He has been married to Sneed since 2003.

“Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life’s events,” he told People in 2017. “We try and talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day. I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy. It’s a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”

Marta Cano (José’s Sister)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
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Cano stood by her nephews following her brother’s murder. (Marta’s son, Andy Cano, testified during the first trial, telling the court that Erik had confided in him about his father and mother’s alleged abuse when he was 13 years old.)

“[José] was not a bad person. He was a sick person. He had his traumas,” she explained to ABC in 2018. “[Lyle and Erik] deserve to be free. They’re not criminals. They were in so much shock and fear of their own lives that that’s what happened.”

She added: “It was not [an] in-cold-blood kind of thing, It was fear—total fear. How would I feel if someone had abused me all my life, and all of a sudden he’s angry in front of me and he’s coming to me? It’s a defense mechanism we all have. You never knew what you would do.”

Marta was the one who discovered the letter written by Erik to her son which later became new evidence that paved the way for the D.A. to recommend a resentencing.

Andy Cano (Erik and Lyle’s Cousin)

Andy testified during both trials that Erik opened up to him about José allegedly sexually assaulting him for years. Nearly a decade after Erik and Lyle were sentenced to life in prison, Andy died at 29 of a drug overdose.

His mother told ABC in 2018 that Andy felt guilty for not being able to keep Erik and Lyle out of prison, adding, “I have no doubt in my mind that Andy is dead because of them.”

In 2023, Geragos requested a retrial for Erik and Lyle, citing new evidence in the case including singer Roy Rosselló’s allegations against José and a newly discovered letter Erik wrote to Andy describing his father’s alleged sexual abuse months before the murders.

Terry Baralt (Jose’s Sister)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
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After her brother’s death, Baralt publicly advocated for Erik and Lyle, telling People in 1990, “We thought murder was bad enough. You grieve and life goes on. We felt 1990 had to be a better year. Now this. This is even worse than the murders.”

Baralt testified during Lyle and Erik’s second trial that the brothers receiving the death penalty would mean “the destruction of that side” of her family. “It’s just wiping out the rest of my family,” she stated at the time.

Joan VanderMolen (Kitty’s Sister)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
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VanderMolen, who was 92 by the time Erik and Lyle were considered for a resentencing, never gave up hope about reuniting with the brothers.

“They would have been out a long time ago if they’d had a fair trial,” she told the Los Angeles Times in 2023. “I loved my sister dearly, and it’s difficult to talk about her, but somehow she managed to let this husband of hers rule the roost and beat the kids. She had to know.”

VanderMolen subsequently took part in Netflix’s 2024 The Menéndez Brothers documentary as a way to help her nephews.

“Of course [I am on their side]. I have been for a long time. Since day one,” she told Vanity Fair in October 2024. “It’s always difficult [to talk about Erik and Lyle]. I care so much about them. I’m shook up right now thinking about it.”

Milton Andersen (Kitty’s Brother)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
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One of the only people who has been against Lyle and Erik’s release is Kitty’s brother, Milton Andersen, who believes his nephews had a very different motive for killing their parents.

“I don’t believe that Jose or Kitty would do any of the things that they were accused of,” he told CBS News in 2024. “Jose was changing his will and that’s when they went out and bought the shotguns. What they did to my sister — they should have gotten the death penalty. … I loved my sister, and I protected her in life, and I will love my sister and protect her in her death.”

VanderMolen, meanwhile, didn’t hold back after being asked about her brother’s lack of support for Erik and Lyle, saying, “Yes, [he isn’t on their side], and now they name a hurricane after him. That’s almost a joke, isn’t it?”

She continued: “He was [in The New York Times] last year because he said that none of [the abuse] was true. And I thought, you know, ‘You’re a real asshole.’ I can’t abide that. And it makes no sense whatsoever. He didn’t have a loving, caring father. He never did.”

VanderMolen confirmed she was no longer in touch with Andersen due to his attempts to deny Erik and Lyle a chance at freedom, adding, “He used to call me once in a while and I finally explained to him, ‘I can’t talk to you.’ And I’m sorry. I hurt for him.”

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Brian Andersen (Kitty’s Brother)

Kitty’s other brother also chose not to support Erik and Lyle. “There was certainly no indication of any kind that there was ever any abuse,” Andersen told ABC in 2017. “It just didn’t happen. It just didn’t happen. I think the motive was strictly money.”

Brian Andersen Jr. (Erik and Lyle’s Cousin)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
APEX / MEGA

Andersen’s son, however, publicly stated at a 2024 news conference that Erik and Lyle “are not the villains they’ve been portrayed as” by others.

“[Erik and Lyle have] shown they are more than their past. They are survivors and deserve a chance to rebuild their lives. They’re no longer a threat to society,” Andersen Jr. explained. “If they were to come to my house, knock on my door, I would answer that door, I would welcome them in with huge hugs, my wife would make them dinner and I’d give them a pillow and a place to sleep.”

Diane VanderMolen (Erik and Lyle’s Cousin)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
Apu Gomes/Getty Images

During both trials, Diane testified that Lyle told her about the abuse he allegedly suffered at the hands of his father. Diane claimed she shared that information with Kitty, who didn’t believe her son’s claims. Diana’s mother, Joan, reflected on how traumatic that experience was for her daughter.

“My daughter saw things she should never have had to see. The way they were treated,” Joan told Vanity Fair in 2024. “The few times I visited and when my daughter visited, Kitty was getting more ill and nervous as the years went by. She was breaking dishes and glasses because of her frustration. My daughters experienced that in spades. Diane stayed a longer time and witnessed more of it, and she’s the one that told Kitty that Lyle’s father was abusing him. But she didn’t believe it. She took Lyle right upstairs to his dad so he could do what he wanted.”

Alan Andersen (Erik and Lyle’s Cousin)

Andersen’s other son claimed he witnessed José allegedly “hitting” Erik and Lyle when he spent summers with his cousin as kids.

“José would tell the boys, ‘In the bedroom.’ And then he would close the door and then he’d take showers with them. I was not allowed — while the boys were alone with José with the door closed in the master bedroom — to go down the hall to probably not hear whatever I may hear,” he alleged to CBS News in 2024. “I know [Erik and Lyle] did what they did because they were in fear of their life.”

He added: “What I would say to the prosecutor — or the judge — would be, ‘Please look at all of the evidence. They are speaking the truth. They shouldn’t be in there as long as they’ve been.’”

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Karen VanderMolen (Erik and Lyle’s Cousin)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
Apu Gomes/Getty Images

Joan’s other daughter has been interviewed several times about her decision to stand by Erik and Lyle’s side.

“It’s exciting, it’s beyond words. We are continuing to be optimistic that Erik and Lyle will be released soon,” she told Good Morning America in October 2024, referring to the brother’s potential early release. “And the best case scenario would be for us to have Erik and Lyle home for the busy week of Thanksgiving.”

Anamaria Baralt (Erik and Lyle’s Cousin)

Menendez Family Guide From Their Wives to Eriks Stepdaughter
APEX / MEGA

“If Lyle and Erik’s case was heard today — with the understanding we now have about abuse and PTSD — there is no doubt in my mind their sentencing would have been very different,” Anamaria said at a 2024 press conference about the personal progress Erik and Lyle have made. “They have sought to better themselves and serve as a support and inspiration for survivors all over the world. Their continued incarceration serves no rehabilitative purpose.”

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